IT'S COMING!!

I need wisdom ...

2 Chronicles 1:10 - Give me wisdom and knowledge, that I may lead this people, for who is able to govern this great people of yours?"


It's my first full week back at work since bible school .... it's actually quite challenging.

A few projects I completed at work during bible school now need to be updated and re-worked.

Work is piling up.

Many people have asked me - what is your job? What do you do? Are there really so many things to do in a church?

There are.

I need wisdom - to make the right decisions and to do the right things at the right time ....

Are you a threat?

I'm in Jakarta now on mission trip. The Spirit impressed me with a question last night while I was still in Singapore eating supper with one of my cell members.

Are you a threat to the kingdom of darkness?

Somehow the question stuck with me and I've been thinking about it the whole day; even on the flight here.

Does the kingdom of darkness tremble when you speak? Do your words cause demons to flee? Is your ministry and your service in the church raising fear among Satan's generals?

As I'm starting to go on more mission trips, I begin to think - Are my trips causing harm to the kingdom of darkness?

After graduating from Bible school just last week, I'm going through a period of prayer and re-organising my life and ministry; to re-strategize and cause havoc in the spiritual realms. :)

I really pray that what we do in our ministry is not in vain.

So once again I ask - Are you a threat?

Mission Trip Tomorrow!

Flying off to Sabah for mission trip tomorrow morning. It's kind of a dream come true. I've always loved the place and the people.

Although I go back very regularly, I've always wanted to do something for the people .. this is my first mission trip there from Singapore - I'm hoping it's the start of something special ..

Accomplishment

It's been a busy day .. but I feel like I've achieved a lot ...

Going through a period now where people might be misunderstanding me .... cos of sch, i cant spend as much time at work .. but oh well ... I think I'm doing pretty ok .. just picking up the momentum to do better at my work .. :)

Thank God - I will be excellent in what I do!!

Is it really just the Chinese culture?

I just finished a major project at work.

Honestly, I think I did a good job - not a perfect job, not the best that can be, but still a pretty good job.

But I'm not happy.

Maybe it's just me, maybe I expect too much, but instead of getting a pat on my back, it was announced in front of everyone that "we have not done a good job, there are many areas that we could have improved, please forgive us for any shortcomings."

After the project, everyone was tired - I got back to office the past few days, all pple wanted were to close accounts, "find out which areas can be improved" .... Did I really do so terribly?

There was a lot of stress before the project - my colleagues did cover up my shortcomings; there was a lot of stress during the project - I felt my colleagues & superiors were not there when I needed them during the project; the stress is over after the project - I'm human, I need a pat, just a gentle pat. Instead of a pat, I'm all alone, like a pet abandoned after the circus show is over ...

But no ... I did everything wrong - I did the wrong things, said the wrong things, controlled my emotions wrong, drove the wrong way .. every thing's wrong - but hey, THAT'S NOT TRUE!

Is my attitude wrong? I am but human ...

Maybe at the end of the day, all I need is God to say "Well done." Is this what it means to pursue the recognition of God & not of man? I've been trying to have the right attitude and motives all this time - have I got it all wrong??

I know He wants me to go further .. to do something greater for Him - but is this the avenue? I'll ask Him.

Living in His promises

Ever wondered how unpredictable life can be?
Ever wondered how the things we expect don't happen?
Ever wonder how come God's promises don't work out the way we expect them to?
Ever wondered why we call Him God and yet we expect Him to do things the way we would do them?

Ever realized how every time you're sure you got a promise from God, He'll test your faith?

Ever realized how something will be taken from you before something greater is given to you?

Faith & Fear cannot co-exist - in the same way, Harvesting cannot exist without sowing - we have to give up something to get something.

Trust Him! Only He knows what's best for you!

Had a great birthday!!

Had a Great Birthday yesterday - it was really, honestly, sincerely MUCH better than I thought it would be. :)

Celebrated with some new friends I got to know on a mission trip to Kedah - these are GREAT friends & yes, I just might write about them soon. :)

We had lunch at Seoul Garden - some of you might cringe at the idea of Seoul Garden for a birthday, but hey, I LOVE MEAT!! They suddenly gave me a GIGANTIC (to me) Winnie the Pooh soft toy. HAHA .... I used to think I would drop dead if someone gave me a soft toy for my Bday, but you know what? I GENUINELY LIKED IT ALOT. I don't know why .. haha .. *but ah, my car not very big, so if I keep it in there, like a lot of space taken up leh ... oh well .. :)*

After that, had the customary "Waiters bring you a surprise cake" thing there .. I think it was one of the first time I experienced it and it made me feel "warm" .. :)

Then RUSHED back to office cos I had tons of stuff waiting for me to do, but instead of asking me to "DO STUFF", the office pple were just waiting to celebrate my birthday .. haha .. you know, it feels good when pple put you ahead of work. :)

Something really funny happened - one of my SOT team mates smsed me saying something like "Sorry forgot to celebrate your Bday today" .. then suddenly a WHOLE stream of sms from my team suddenly came in. :) hahaha .. must be someone sent an "emergency sms" to remind everyone in the team. :)

Anyway, my SOT team was really really sweet today - they bought a cake and sang CHC's famous Happy Birthday WOOOOOOHHH song ... but the best thing was, they made one of nicest card I have received for my Bday ... :) It's REALLY REALLY NICE!! :) Can see much effort and attention was put into it ... :)


Having said SO much ... I'm surprised, cos the pple who celebrated my Bday this year were pple I got to know within the last 2 mths. Most of my "real" friends just sent me the obligatory birthday SMS.

You know it makes me wonder, do people start taking relationships for granted after a long period of familiarity ... it's actually really sad ... oh well .. :)

The only "old" friend who really remembered my Bday was David Tan who sent me an email from Australia .. haha ... Good old David ... :)

Oh, and I MUST mention Salome - she was under a lot of pressure to let me have a great Birthday. Salome, if you're reading this, I wanna say it again, I HAD A GREAT BIRTHDAY 2008! Thank you and I love you! :)

Back with great enthusiasm!

Wow! It's been more than 6 months since my last post!! Didn't think it was such a long time till I saw the date of my last post.

What can I say? I've still got a great job!! HAHA .. Well, I'm now into my 9th month of working in BPC - experienced some ups & downs .... in fact, I'm kinda going through a period of "down" now, but it's kinda like riding a roller-coaster - when you're almost nearing the lowest part, that's when you brace yourself for a sudden upward plunge!

I guess that kinda sums up the season I'm in now. I'm bracing myself for an upward plunge, and I know that this plunge will take me much higher from where I came from! :)

So what's happening in my life now?

I started studying at the City Harvest Bible Training Centre in March this year - it'll last all the way till Aug 24th which is my Graduation Day!! After which I will receive my Certificate in Theology. :)

The church is sponsoring my studies, which means of course that while I'm studying, I'm also working in the church! :)

AND, to "supplement" my income, I'm also teaching Guitar and Bass on my "off days" and after office hours. hee hee .... with my supplementary income and God's gracious providence, I'm able to rent a car from a friend long term.

Yes I "own" a car now and the feeling is great!! I'm just afraid how uneasy I'll be after I return it .. :)

Well, that just about sums up what's happening in my life now.


You know what, I forgot the joy of blogging - it seems now that once I start writing, I've got so many things to say! It might just be the momentum of writing - I just finished writing a 1700 word essay for school yesterday. :) You know what I LOVE WRITING!!!! :)

I've got a great Job!!

Wow, it's been almost one full month since my last blog entry. :) I wonder how many people still check out this blog. :)

Anyway, it's been a really busy and exciting month. Had 2 major conferences this month and the anointing and blessing of God was so great in the church. There is an in-filling of a greater anointing and presence of the Holy Spirit.

I led prayer meeting last night and the Holy Spirit did His thing - it was an exciting time. :)

There's committee meeting later on and it's the first time I'll be sitting in since I just became a staff of the church, so I'm pretty excited, but at the same time a little nervous about what kinds of questions will be thrown at me .. haha .. :) Well, my God is with me .. so no worries! :)

Who do you please?

Who are we supposed to please? Whose voice do we listen to? Whose opinion really matters?

The past 3 weeks have been bittersweet for me working in the church. On one hand, I'm having a lot of fun doing the things I've got a passion for and dreaming up ideas for the church. On the other hand, I feel like I'm being held back and restricted from going on in a lot of things. It seems like there is always the concern of what people might say or what people might think; there's always the concern of offending people.

It's been a time of training for me and the Lord is really teaching me submission, patience and more submission. He's also teaching me to look at an even BIGGER picture of what's happening around the church. I've always seen myself as a person who looks to the future and looks at the big picture. But the Lord is saying, Hey! There's a bigger picture for you to see .. there are more things to consider than you thought there were. Operating and running a church is not as easy as you thought!

Well, I guess I'm also starting to REALLY learn the lesson I've always tried to impart to other people. You don't have to satisfy everybody and make everybody happy - you just need to fulfill your responsibility and have your conscience clear before God.

I'm learning it the hard way now. It seems like EVERYONE has something to say about my job and how I should do it. Everyone thinks they know what's best for me. I was actually really hurt today when one of my respected leaders said," What have you done the past 3 weeks working in church, do you have anything to show for it?"

Well, the line between who's right and who's wrong is starting to gray ....

..... but tonight during prayer meeting, the Lord spoke again. With the same song He touched me with when I was considering full time ministry, telling him I'll do whatever He wants me to do ( My Life is on the Altar )The same words spoke to me, but this time another phrase shot straight into my heart -

"Nothing matters when You're here with me
In the end just to hear You say "Well done"
Bowing before your throne"

Yes that's it! Nothing matters when God is with me. No one's opinion matters more than what God thinks. Who cares which leader praises me, who cares if "other people" think I've done a good job. In the end, I just wanna hear my FATHER GOD say "WELL DONE" That's all that matters to me. REALLY.

Thank you God for the reassurance. My greatest honor with always be to serve my Lord and King.

Passion of Work

Wow, it's been so long since my last entry. Been really busy at work and seriously, I didn't expect to be this busy ... haha ...

Well, lots of exciting things happening and visions being shared.:)

The church just got a new back drop for the sanctuary stage and I'm sitting in my office now having just pulled an all-nighter putting everything back on stage and trying very hard to make the stage tidy - to match the very elegant backdrop.

I'm so tired now - but most importantly, I'm happy and I enjoy my job so much!

I guess although I love the job, I really do feel the pressure of the job. Given the circumstances and the relationships I share with people in the church, I'm under pressure to not only perform, but to perform OUTSTANDINGLY.

I seriously don't know how to explain it. Deep in my heart I really really have a deep passion for my job and a passion for excellence for the church, but at the same time, I'm conscious that there are lots of people in the church (both "supporters" and "non-supporters") whose eyes are on me to see what results I'll produce for the church. I'm praying my passion for excellence will outshine any expectations on me - even my own expectations. I am working not for the church - I am working for God - so people's expectations do not matter - only God's expectations matter.

Most importantly however, there is one thing I know for sure - it is my God who has put me where I am now. If there is anyone who will support me all the way, encourage me and give me the wisdom and anointing to face my job, it is my God. So if my God is for me, WHO CAN BE AGAINST ME?

In Christ there is love, and perfect love casts out all fear! :) Wow, I guess Sunday did help! :)

Well, time to get some rest and get ready for a new day!

Work!

Well, surprisingly there's nothing much to blog about during my first week at work. Everything's going really well and there're lots of interesting people to meet and things to do.

It feels pretty good having my own office and actually, this being my first week at work, I've already met up with 4 vendors in 2 days! So it's quite fun! :)

People are fun too. I think it's really very different from the old church office. I feel happier when I enter the office now. :)

Just thought I'd give an update. :)

I start work on Monday!

Well, just wanted to announce to the world that I just got notice that

I will be a full-time staff at Bethany Presbyterian Church effective Oct 1, 2007!

Short hello ..

Writing this blog at the Senior Pastor's house in Sabah .. had cell group here ...

It's also house of Stefanie Sun and Zhang Hui Mei's pianist .. :) Will write more next time .. :)

Sabah ...

Hi all,

It's been a great trip and here are more updates! My brother went back to Singapore on Wed night so now I'm "alone." :) Food's been great, and at last the skies cooperated and I've been able to take the telescope out for a great view. :)

Family fellowship has been one of the greatest highlight of the trip and it has really been great spending so much time with the family, talking, laughing and talking some more.

Also had a chance to eat a fruit I haven't been able to eat for 20 years. The Talap. This is a local fruit and is only available in limited quantities in a very tight season every year.

The picture below is of my brother and cousin trying to open durians the day before the Talap. :)

Panaromic view from the 3rd storey of my auntie's house. If I had a view like this in my house, I'd build an observatory right away! :)

More from my obsession with 4x4s ....

In Sabah

Almost nearing the middle of my trip in Sabah - been spending my time with the family and doing lots of fun stuff.

Went to the beach and played some traditional "kampung games," drove around, ate some of my childhood favourite foods etc. :)

Also visited the local Chinese church and I could see that the Holy Spirit is doing a work in the local church which is really exciting. Not only could I see the Spirit moving, I could also see some of the same problems in a "family church" setting here in Sabah as it is in Singapore.

I am even more convinced of God's calling for the ministry He has placed me in and this ministry will touch and bless churches all around the world - typical smaller "family" churches for them to be equipped for revival!

Though this trip is meant to be one of getting away from things and seeking God, I find myself unconsciously thinking of stuff in Singapore, in the church and in the ministry. It's nothing much really, just that I find myself so absorbed in the ministry. :)

Anyway, besides all these, one of my greatest automotive passions is always renewed when I come back to Sabah - the legendary 4x4!!

Every time I come here, I get updated of the latest 4x4 vehicles available and I marvel at their off road capabilities.

People all around me in Singapore always talk about getting the fastest and best looking sports car and how much horsepower their car can give or how many people their vehicle can carry.

Well, I'm not interested in all that, I'm just interested in how much torque the vehicle has, how many tons it can carry and pull and most importantly, how far into the forest or how high up a mountain it can go. :)

Oh well - I'm gonna get my first 4x4 vehicle soon - and please, nothing like the Toyota Rush or even Lexus RX300. HAHA ... I want a REAL 4WD!! :)

OK, enough talking - here are some pictures ...

Gone for 2 weeks ..

Well, I'm leaving in a few hours for Sabah and I won't be back for 2 weeks. Sabah is a land full of culture and scenery ... Such a beautiful place right here in South East Asia ..

Many people have said it's so fun to go on holiday for 2 weeks and they're so jealous and they also wanna go ...

Well, for me, I think this trip goes beyond a "holiday" or a "fun trip" for me. Firstly, I'll be there to visit dear family whom I love A LOT ... I think I need to play my part as part of the family to be there in good times and in bad. :)

Also, on a more serious note, I'll be there to get away from the routine of life and familiarity of my surroundings. It'll be a time also to seek God and to refresh myself for a new journey that I will embark on in the middle of Oct.

The entire trip is unplanned - my brother and I just bought 2 tickets there and don't have any plans on what to do. To me that is very intentional - I just wanna go on an adventure and not have to worry about this plan and that plan.

One more thing is I'm praying that this trip will really draw me closer to my brother and allow us to know each other better. I really thank God for the relationship we have and I see God working through us individually and as brothers. I pray this trip will do greater things for us. :)

So there you have it - this is not just a fun trip - I've even got objectives planned .. haha .. :)


Anyway, here are some photos taken in Sabah for those who have been asking me how come I say Sabah can see more stars than Singapore -

Casting Call ...

Hi all,

Below is the casting call for a local film. I'd encourage
all those who would like to experience what it's like to
shoot a movie or be part of a movie production to sign up
either as actors/extras or production crew.

This will also be a good opportunity for those of you
after 'N', 'O' and 'A' levels to learn something during
your holidays and earn some pocket money. :)

If you have any queries, pls contact the director of the film.
Contact details are below.

Hi Friends,

I am currently directing my final year thesis film, <> (Dreams), a 15 minute short film about an ordinary boy who dared to achieve an extraordinary dream of becoming a national swimmer, despite the opposition and rejection he receives from his family and community. It is a story about faith, love and the courage to dream. The film is one that will surely inspire the hearts of many.

My production team and I are searching for cast members to act in the film and would like to extend the invitation to you. You can also help us by passing the message and casting call to your friends and family members who might be interested to be part of this film.

In addition to these, we are also in the process of sourcing for crew members who are willing to work as Art Directors & Production Assistants for the film. Do reply if you are interested.

Please feel free to contact me at 97778120, should you have any queries or require any clarification.


Thank You for Dreaming with Us.

Yours Sincerely,
Josiah Ng
Director
Meng Xiang.

Evan Almighty

Watched Evan Almighty today ... Wow!! Even though it's supposed to be a comedy - and IT IS HILARIOUS - I got quite a lot out of the movie. Some of it even has to do with being a History Maker as I've mentioned in my earlier posts ...

Here's what I got - I'm trying to remember the lines ...

1. "How do you change the world?" "By doing Actions of Random Kindness. You change the world one act at a time"

2. "When someone prays for patience, does God give her patience or opportunities to be patient? .... When someone prays for a closer knit family, ....... , God gives her a chance to be closer to her family"

Those were "quotes" I tried to remember off the movie ... There're also other stuff I thought were pretty true about God in the movie ..

~Alot of times, God gives us a task or job to do and even though sometimes we resist it at first, God will chase us - He will not give up on us the first time. Yes it's true God will not force us, but He will not give up on us.

~When we ask for stuff, God sometimes will not give it to us outright. Instead, He will use lessons and give us opportunities to exercise our character and let us get more than what we ask for in the process.

~When God gives us a task, there'll be times when it seems no one else believes in what we're doing, but when we're sure God's asking us to do it, we gotta put our faith in Him and do it. God will in His own way turn the hearts of the people around us and give us the support we need.

~There's also a part in the movie when "God" said "I do it cos I love you" .... and then some terrible things happened to Evan and he said, "could you love me less?"
That was so real! I mean I've had people tell me and sometimes I feel it myself - when things go wrong or when the world seems to be against us and we know that God is actually teaching us and letting us grow in that process and He's allowing stuff to happen cos He loves us ... but sometimes we can't see His plan and we just wished all those things didn't happen. We forget that God will only let us go through things we can bear and He's pushing us to our limit so that we can stretch.

~Sometimes God will only show us results at the VERY END. We have to be firm in our faith and never give up. Even though the world will taunt us and tell us what we're doing is stupid and people dun understand, even our closest friends - we must know that God will never fail us.

~God works in ways we cannot understand. Like in this instance, even though God has promised HE will never send rain and flood to destroy the world, but still asked Evan to build the Ark. He was seeing a scenario that people would not imagine - even the people responsible for it didn't know it could happen. So we must do stuff God asks us to do even though we think God already promised something like that will never happen again.


That should be it for now - dun have any notes or anything, just writing off the top of my head. So I'll add more when I think of them .. :)
For those who don't know what I'm writing about, go watch the movie!!

Wow, I never thought I'd have so many things to write about a movie ... I guess I learnt that from my mentor (Yong Howe) who always applies life principles from movies. :)

It's like literature class ...