Paradigm Shift

It's a season of Faith.

It feels weird. The path I took, the path I'm taking. Is it blind faith? Is there such a thing as "calculated faith"?

It's now my last month in my current job in Bethany Presbyterian Church and I still have no idea what I'm going to be doing next month.

Getting married in December, jobless in October - never thought this would be the path I'd take.

Taking the path I'm sure I would advice others against, and now I'm the one walking down this road of total uncertainty.

Thank God for a very understanding Fiancee in Salome, always assuring me that our God is in control, telling me she is sure of the value in me.

Some might be wondering why I chose this path - Was it a rash decision to quit? Am I sure of what I am doing?

Well, I can only say that I am very confident that God has arranged the best path for me and the only way I will be able to fully embark on that journey of faith is to leave my current path of comfort and walk the road God is leading me to.

The more uncertainties there are in my life, the more I have to depend on my Father God to provide for me and lead me in the right path.

Not everyone can walk this road - I thank God for giving me the willingness to take risks and live totally trusting Him, but sometimes I wonder how nice it would be to be like most of my other peers - get a stable job, decent or good monthly income, yearly career progression, bonus & increment.

That kind of stability is good, but I don't think I can live that kind of life - I need to be challenged, to go from Glory to Glory, to start new things, to explore new possibilities.

Interestingly I took a personality test the other day, I'm an "ENTP" - here's an excerpt that I thought was quite accurate:

"ENTPs contribute an innovative, versatile, and enterprising approach to work. They view limitations as challenges to be overcome and look for new ways to do things. They need to find a niche for themselves in order to be free to maneuver. They prefer the start-up phase of a project rather than the followthrough or maintenance phase. Once the project is designed, they prefer to turn it over to someone else."

I think I have done quite a good job starting new things and overcoming barriers in my current job - now that things have settled down, it's time to move on and start other projects in other organisations.

Some of my current bosses see that as a weakness, of not "following through", but I don't think that's necessarily so - looking on the flipside, not everyone can start projects and introduce new systems like I can.

Is this pride? Well, I can only say that humility is not the denial of strengths, it is the acceptance of your weaknesses.

Oh well, I just hope to end this last month in my current job well. I have not done everything perfectly, or up to everyone's standard/expectations, but I can truly say that I have completed to do what I set out to do and I have met my personal expectations.

Looking at the current state of the technical equipment, the praise & worship, the presentation during services, I sometimes watch our service DVDs and cry. Why would God use some one like me to bring positive change to a church? Who am I? That God would use me, and leave my footprint in Bethany Presbyterian Church?

Yes it's tough, I think only God, Salome & I see the positive things contributed in the church in the earlier days of my involvement and see the value in those. Now, all I get are calls about the little things which are left outstanding, but hey, don't hire an elephant to run a marathon.

I'm really sorry for letting some of my bosses & leaders down. I really don't know how they feel about my last 6 mths on the job. I think I've done my best, it's just a pity I couldn't end it on a better note.

But you know what, God is tell me, they all don't see the times & effort you put in, but I know your heart and i see your work. You have been a faithful servant. Your job here is done, it's time to move on, explore new possibilities, and build your character further. I have greater plans for you!!


Thank you God for your faithfulness.